Just Blogging

Another night of fun!

2005-11-19T19:27:00.000+08:00

Partying was part of the night’s plan. Met up with Nic’s colleague and had a drink or two. Nic’s manager was pretty good in pool, I challenge him for fun, and was surprise how good he was. This guy could place his ball anywhere he wants it to be. Not only is he good in positioning, he was also extremely accurate as well; missing a ball was not on his dictionary. We played 9 balls, and I pick up a lot from him. He told me that the ball I was playing is pretty normal. I guess he was asking me to practice more difficult shots. He took part in the after 5 news paper challenge competition and immediately I understood where he got his skills.

Had a drink with the girls and decided to bring them to the dance floor. As we were dancing, one of my bro’s friend suddenly had a girl dancing with him, didn’t really know who she was till we met near the entrance of the toilet of DBO. She introduces herself as Mitsuki. I was amazed. I was actually amazed by the fact that she is Japanese. Of course impressed with his skills as well. Haha
That friend I know is married, and I guess he was just there to have fun. Well, with his looks and style, I guess it is pretty easy for him to hook up any girl he wants. I started conversing with the girl, just to find out that she is here on a holiday. I didn’t really ask for her age, but I guess she is around 20. We soon hit the dance floor again and started dancing together. Time pass fast and the other girls wanted to leave. Being the host, my bro sent them out. He is not bad, to what I know from his manager; there were 2 girls in his company who is interested in him. Lolz. Bro, what are you waiting for! Lolz. When Nic sent the other girls out I decided to bring him out as well. He seem abit high.

To my surprise, mitsuki held my hands. I told her don’t worry in Japanese and tell her to wait for awhile. She then let go off my hands with a little nod, and I walked out with my bro. The feeling was something I haven’t had for a long time. Anyway, we brought the girls out and they soon left.

2005-11-18T17:42:00.000+08:00

Alvin, Shan, Tingli, slvest and me (after dinner shot)

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A wonderful dinner to catch up

2005-11-18T16:37:00.000+08:00

Friday has arrived. I woke up rushing everything, had quite a bit to do today. When down to PS to collect the PSP from my bro,AD. Who he dress quite smartly, guess he’s going to party soon. Hahaha. After buying my ink cartridge at SIM LIM. I went back home to drop the stuff and headed out soon after to meet Thengli, Slyvest, Yishan and Alvin. We had dinner at this place call outskirt at millennia walk. Like usual, I was joking and teasing miss Da jie and Xiao mei. Haha. Just a usual habit. We had fun and soon after Thengli and her boy boy gave me a lift to Double O.

Understanding

2005-11-18T07:26:00.000+08:00

I woke up feeling a little down. I guess I shouldn’t have told her those harsh realities but I certainly hope she understands after that. Unlike the past, I would always keep all those trouble to myself; I decided to let out my feelings. Told a few good friends whom I really trust and they listen and cheer me up. Brenda mention to me that perhaps I still have feelings for her, and thus I behave this way, I was actually quite disappointed because she of all person should know how much I cherish friendship. Then I recall what Nic and Tingli said and felt better. Perhaps it is because we have lost our love ones before and we thus clearly understand the importance of friends. Nic told me to relax, he said, it is ok and told me that good friends will stand by you forever; we don’t really need to have that many good friends. I smiled and agreed. I’m happy I have a bunch of really good friends. I felt way better after that talk and started crapping with my other friends.

A very good friend of the past

2005-11-17T04:41:00.000+08:00

Today, after a long time, I receive her call. Never expected her to call but she did. It’s amazing how weird this friendship has become. Well, I didn’t know whether liking a friend is a good thing or not but I have to admit, I took likings for this girl a long time ago. Well, it has been close to 5 months since I told her my feelings. Well, I was never good with ladies I like. Things started to change ever since it started. I thought things were over, and we can be friends, good friends like we use to.

I guess I was wrong. I made many efforts to call her out but with no success. I have to admit; at the start, I was the one avoiding her because I still had feelings for her. But soon after she had a bf, I decided not to meet her so often, wishing her all the best in her current relationship.

I guess she never did really understand. It wasn’t long after which I cast my feelings aside. Knowing she felt that I was avoiding, I didn’t wanted her to feel that way. I really wanted to maintain that friendship.

Things didn’t go like plan, many a times; I ask her out but was rejected. Sometimes, she is really busy and I do understand. But there were many incidents, when she cancels my appointment with her to meet her other friends. Reason being either busy… or …

I was really disappointed. Well, I felt stupid. Perhaps I’m the only one who wants to maintain the friendship. Sometime like what my buddy would say, perhaps she is attaching, and thus she doesn’t have the time. But little does she knows, I always ask her about her spending time with her bf. Many a times, she denied. I wonder if perhaps I was the cost of this, and regretted telling her my feelings. I lost a good friend, buddy; soul mate after being in love with her. Never would I want to lose a good friend because of this reason again.

This thing continued for weeks, and slowly months. I decided not to meet her so often and many a times I would give her the benefit of doubt. But many a times, when I call her, I already know what she is doing. It is kind of upsetting. Well I’m not upset for her not meeting me, but really it is because the friendship was like going down the drain, and the trust I have for her was being toyed. I felt miserable. My buddy told me it was perhaps that I still had feelings for her, but I know it wasn’t. It was the feeling of mistrust.

I guess things got a little overboard when even phone calls were made as a promise. Like a promise to call. I felt hurt. Why must this friendship end up in this way? Well, and many a times, she would ask me to make arrangement because we have not meet for along time, but most of the times, she is not free. I really don’t expect her to turn up because I understand she is attached. All I wish is for her to not promise me anything and breaking them. Is that too much to ask for? Even as friends?

All I wish for or hope for is a normal conversation on the phone with a starting and an ending. I don't want this friendship to end.

Is she superficial? No, not that i know of! I know she is way better then that, and that was why i like her. Am i wrong? Have i mistook her actions? I ask myself these questions many many times. I ask friends. and their reply is "Let it go"
I then ask myself is it because i still have feelings for her? Well, i evaluated my feelings. All i know now is, i'm hurt. She once ask me, "Do you feel i'm making use of you?" my reply was definately no in the past but now i feel like perhaps i was just her bouy when she was down, a friend for that moment, just like a friend i know a year ago. It is hurting. I'm human too. I do have my feelings to. I'm not all that perfect. Not all like what they say i'm. I'm sensitive to emotions and thus can understand people better. But what about my feelings? I do have my own feelings too! I can't always compromise! It hurts, it really hurts.

I know this pain will go away soon cos my heart has harden over the years of pain i have gone thru. I might sound emotional, or write emotionaly, but i guess the only reason for that is i care.

That is the only wish I have in this friendship. All I know is I made my effort; my very best effort and I’m tired now.

Today, receiving her called, shocked me. Talking to her and of a good will. I decided to ask her out for a movie again. She said the same thing she would normally say, and promise like she normally would. I don’t know if the promise will be made, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I know I shouldn’t have messaged her. I told her

“Sometimes I feel I shouldn’t tell you,
if I knew it might affect the friendship in this funny manner.
Anyway if you are not free, it is ok.”

She seemed upset and affected, I’m sorry but I really hope she understands.

2005-11-13T03:33:00.000+08:00

Rene and Bird. (love your new name =p)

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Another day of work

2005-11-13T02:47:00.000+08:00

Saturday came. Woke up, ready for work. I was kind of excited due to the long breaks I’ve been having. 12.30pm and there I were at SMU, helping out in the road show. As keen to work, I was also in the mood to party at night. I guess the days of fun haven’t ended for me.

Reaching SMU, I was quite curious, and didn’t know how the school system works. So approaching the security, I got into the building. And Who! It was really high tech inside, more like an office then a school. I met Bird on the way up. Surprise to see her, I approach her and ask her why she was there, only to discover that she is working with me too. Thanks to her, I had a little more comfort from the hot scorching sun that had its UV rays penetrating thru my skin. Not soon after, even Serene arrive.

Who, I guess Elis is very intelligent to put 2 hot babes to clinch more sales. Smart move! Ha-ha. Guess this manager is not only capable in poaching people, but also very good in making sales. Anyway, she is a lovely lady who treats her subordinates very well.

Well, Bird, Serene and I use to work together in JOS for IBM. They are friends of my Bro. Pretty as they are; they are fun to be with too. My first impression of serene was a cold, “tao” girl. Only when I got to know her better, I realize she is quite adorable and friendly. Well, and I think, Rene suits her better, nicer name. haha. =) Bird on the other hand, appears to be a more cheerful and bubbly kind of “xiao” mei mei. She is very innocent, and I guess she is also a favorite to guys.
Firstly, she is pretty
Secondly, She is god damn blur
Thirdly, (this is more like my personal thingy) She is bull-i-able
(guess she would be wondering what I’m writing if she happens to read this blog). haha

Serene you are pretty too, don’t worry. Lolz, just that you are less bulliable, haha

Anyway, she is a good friend to me. I realize she and my close buddy, Brenda shares a lot in common. Both of them are Paris Hilton BIG FAN! Oh my god. Save me. And the likings for certain things are similar. Even the way they say things, for example, Fugly. Man, I thought I was really from mars when they started talking in their own kind of lingo. With them around, I normally act younger.

Time pass by quite fast and it was time to party. Well, but things never really did happen, merely watch DOOM, crap show. Personal opinion.

Me, Nic and Mr. Teddy Bear decided to chill out and Mr. Beans, checking out some cool cars and babes while we sat down for a cup of coffee. Nic had his car parked at an illegal parking spot, and was so worried, he had his head popping out so often just to look out for some traffic police, whom I don’t think will come at 11pm at night. Time past quite quickly, and after which we decided to head down to MT Faber.

It brought back lots of memories at that place. I recall my valentine’s day spent there. Thinking of the irony that I’m now 24, her age when I chase her 3 years ago. It was kind of funny to think that I can finally see her point. Guess I will never be able to give security to someone whom is older then me.

Teddy driving like Takumi, in Initial D, got there for the first time to explore that area. Surprisingly, this bear who seems to know the weirdest and most romantic places; not been to MT Faber before. Well it was a good trip thou.

Steamboat

2005-11-12T12:00:00.000+08:00

Haha, well things are not over yet. Steamboat. . . .haha, nothing beats a long day of fun and good food. We headed down to Shaw towers and had a sumptuous dinner. Seriously, I was quite impressed with Mel, seldom have I seen girls peeling prawns, and yet not complaining at all. So sweet! Anyway, that is why I like hanging out with them. That is y they are so special. Well, all my friends are special. We had dinner to close to 10pm, and all decided to have another game of pool. As they laze around, playing pool, I headed home soon after. Well, had to work the next day.

2005-11-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

me and agacia

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2005-11-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

me and fiona

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2005-11-11T20:11:00.000+08:00

Me, Mel and Mich...yes, i'm dead tired.

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2005-11-11T19:09:00.000+08:00

con, agacia and jo

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2005-11-11T18:08:00.000+08:00

Fiona, mel and agacia

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The fun is not over yet!

2005-11-11T17:56:00.000+08:00

Things weren’t over yet. As I watch the sun rise, I knew the day has just begun, and it is time for even more fun. We soon checkout of the chalet, and headed to have more fun at wild wild wet, but of course, our breakfast at McDonald’s.

Well, we didn’t really got into escape due to the fact that it was close on a FRIDAY. Can you believe this? Anyway, we headed back to McDonald’s, while Con, Fiona, Mel and Mich decided to play bridge. Agacia and I took alittle short nap, before deciding to head to the pool “arena” for a quick game or two. Time pass, and soon we were in the long awaited “wild wild wet”. Of cos, not to forget our poor Jo who came back just after classes. (Yoz, miss a class or two is ok.*evil smile.)

We pared up and decided to head for the first stop; a raft falling from a high ground. Wo!!! Not much kick to it thou. Lolz, ( NS has made me a man!! lolz)

The second was; a little small tunnel, where you dive in and get yourself sliding from 3 stories high to a pool right below. It wasn’t that thrilling cos I can’t see nuts, all I can see is nothing but pitch black darkness.

Ok the third was where the fun begins. Since all of us didn’t feel the kick yet, we decided to go for the most exciting one. Ok that one was thrilling. Me and Mich pared up and sit into this small little raft, and like the Vikings, we were push down this arch, and there we were, flying up and down. Shok!!! So Shok, we did that twice

After which we all went to the lazy pool, it is a pool where huge current that you go round and round like a merry go round on big floats. We all laze around and decided to do something more difficult, that was holding each other hands, and forming a big circle, what ever that was for. Anyway we had fun, and poor Mel, she was pull into the water umpteen time, by our dear Jo. Hahaha, it was pretty hilarious.

Lastly, we head to the Tsunami pool, where we ride on the waves. I was really drinking water. Hack about the navy! We played with floats, lifejacket and mostly we just had fun. A day full of fun.

2005-11-10T17:20:00.000+08:00

Fiona, mel and agacia

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2005-11-10T17:18:00.000+08:00

Mel and gang

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2005-11-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

mel's birthday cake

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Mel's Birthday

2005-11-10T17:01:00.000+08:00

It’s been a long time since I even touch a pen. I wonder what made me write again. Perhaps it is my inner feeling of being accepted again; being accepted by me once more.

It was a celebration for our dear friend Mel. I arrive at the chalet with a little feeling of awkwardness; I guess I’m still not use being one of the only guys in their group, in a group of pretty and fun loving gals. That awkwardness was soon gone, Thanks to Fiona who was quite quick in realizing and breaking this feeling.

The celebration started as we prepared for the BBQ. A bond fire to be exact. =)
We had lots of fun preparing and cooking, till cutting the cake. Who! And the cake was extremely good, a chocolate crust cake that tasted heavenly. (It’s from Hilton)
The BBQ ended and a few of us were left in the chalet, continuing the fun.

Since it was her birthday celebration, I didn’t want to just leave, so I stayed. We had fun after that, games of charade. A game where we have to act out movie or song titles so that our group could guess it out right. The losing group will have to drink. I have to admit that the girls were good. The night ended, and soon everyone was asleep except me. I stayed in the balcony and started to admire the beautiful scenery of Pasir Ris; life has never been so good if I never met this group of friends. I have found my direction once more, and thanks to them and my bros.

I do miss them a lot since I’ve graduated. Well I don’t know how long this will last, but I’m happy at this moment and I guess that is what is important right now. I’ve learn to cherish those who care, and making alittle more effort to keep up, so that this friendship will always be the same.

The reason Y. Sorry, if i hurt you.

2004-11-12T05:14:00.000+08:00

This is my past, i just want you to know, if ever you would read this, on come across it by accident. Anyway, to me it doesn't really matter, cos it is in the past, not that i dun want to move on, or i can't move on, is just that, it happen in my past, before, and i believe we should learn from our past relationship, or else we will alwys be walking incircles.

Love is for fools,
For I have once love blindly and whole heartedly,
Gave her everything, all my time and whatever she desire,
but return was a guilt,
that hurt me so deeply,
For fate brought us together yet brought us further.
And now after this time,
She is with someone,
And those things she said in the past,
Doesn’t really matter
“I can’t forget my past, and I tried my best.”
But what is your best? If I wasn’t even in her heart,
and she could tear me inside, part by part.
Breaking my heart, and making me cry
“if you didn’t love me so, don’t bother to try”
cos this is not a game, where there is many life.
It is just one life, who had laid down for you,
Who did his very best,
Just to be hurt so deeply,
That he change his life.
Stronger thou, yet he knows
he shall not love her
anymore.

Thus i choose never to go in a relationship, especially one who is attach, i might have feelings, but i know it won't last, cos,
i have once been hurt,
by someone i love so deeply,
just by telling her my feelings,
and not spoiling another. but yet again, i was the cause of her actions,
And living with guilt, yet she didn't love me.
So what is the point, will i get hurt again, so it is impossible, if you are older , or dedicate songs to me, my heart is dead.
I don't know what you see in me, although you never say, but i know clearly, you did many things for me, even more than my ex or buddies, and yet i can't even give you the present, i knew you from my buddy, and he treated you as a sis, and i treat you like one to, cos you are not single. I hope you respect my decision, I just don't want to get hurt anymore and hurt you too. Sorry is all i can say, in anyway if i lead you this way, i do know your feelings, but i can't reciprocate, i know it is not right. and i'm sorry. I want you to take care, and hope you one day will talk to me again, and hopefully by then

we are still friends.

Life

2004-09-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

What is life? I often ask myself this question. Is it to the beginning or is it the end that explains life? Or is there any explanation? Recently, life has been very busy, I hadn't had any time to update my blog. Well, i remember those time, i wrote diaries to express my feelings, my love life and more. And i know, in years to come, these pages will serve only as memories.

Many things have happen, I found a person whom god gave me a second chance. He has been very kind to me. He knew my lost and gave me a buddy whom i can rely on. I understand that and really appreciate it. Thus, i treat her way better than anyone else right now, not that i'm in love with her but just i felt since it is my second chance, i don't want to make any mistakes anymore.

Well, I saw many of her mistakes, so similar to my past. So similar to her, but she did the right thing. I'm Happy for her, really am. These feelings are beyond words, and even writing these makes it hard....

A friend she is.
a buddy whom i found.
Someone i respect alot.
She is someone special that god bestow.
Like the angel sent from the heaven above.
To heal my broken wings.
And give me a hope, a second chance.
i will cherish her as my best friend.
A buddy for life and till the very end.

I realise i treat her extremely well, more than any normal friend, less than my girlfriend. As i look at the past, i would never do such things, but i have learn, that if i would live like in the past, i'll be the fool. The fool who lost his love. Well, a Fool i will not be.

I have a Destiny, a Life and a reason to live on. For now, this is all i know.
For this is my Life.

School

2004-08-28T11:16:00.000+08:00

Well, i have finally met Susan, she is wonderful, well, in her one week here in Singapore, i learn alot from her. For a 61 year old lady, i'm impress as how she kept her beauty till that age, is it due to yogurt? Anyway, she was magnificiant. Her knowledge for Art and everything else as was so massive that i took my hat off her. I've not met anyone with such knowledge, well apart from the Genius that i know. Anyway, it is amazing how one care share so much infomation and change my perspective of life. She has made me clearly understand the history of art. And i've understand clearly my designing action and ability. I would like to further and strengthen my design sense and i know she has greatly helped me. All i have to say is she is my idol. =)

2004-08-11T02:15:00.000+08:00

A buddy's smile beats all the pain i have.

Well, i might have lost the person i love the most, but i have found a buddy who understand me as much as you, I don't hate you Pei0, well, you are still in my heart in some corner which i lock and hide. I guess i still love u.

Life and Its memories

I have found pain once again. Memories seems to come back to haunt me. I guess i seriously don't deserve all that was once called "love". A good friend showed me the truth about love. To me it was something i really didn't wanted to believe in, but it was all so true. I felt sad, helpless, like i was once before. I guess i can't do anything anymore. At that point of time, i started to think, was it worth all the troubles. Did i go through all these, to learn "love" in its ugliest way? Did i walk these path to lose my best friend and lose someone i love alot? Did i go through all these, denying my ability and denying fate and god's prediction? Well, it is pointless now and i certainly see no point regretting now. I feel i should be alone right now. I feel disgusted. "So everyone is the same, i think i'm better off being single, i don't hurt anyone and no one can hurt me like how she did anymore." To love is to give the all, i have given mine, and i have no regrets in that. But i know that maybe it is better for me to be alone in this world now, until someone can change this opinion of mine which i feel strongly now. I should throw those photos away. Y do i keep them? Friends are the most important people, i might not have what i once had, but i have a thing as important, that is friends.
Posted by Hello

2004-08-11T01:55:00.000+08:00

Friends are the best people one will ever have

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2004-08-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

Me, Jimmy and Brenda, Cute hor -----> Jimmy

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Clubbing and hanging out.

2004-08-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

Well, i had a wonderful day clubbing out that night, but many things seems to be going around me. I wish my friends are happy, but apparently they are not. I feel so small, feel like i'm still under the hands of him. Well, but i know "he" will always be there, no matter what happens. For this i pray for the well being of all my friends.

A new friend

2004-08-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

Yoz, good to know you. Anyway, keep my secret tight. Will you? ^__^

Well, i met this new friend in council, my first impression of her, was she is a shy quiet girl. But she is actually a very fun loving, spontanious girl. Sometimes, life is strange, you ask yourself why didn't i know this person earlier. But it is ok, never to late, to know a friend like her.

Well, the special thingy about this person is that we share really alot in common, our past relationship, our interest, our hobbies, well, i never knew her really, only after one weird day, can't remember how we got so close too, but well i 'm really happy i knew her.

Anyway, all my other friends, they cheer me up as well, but i guess because she is like my previous gf, thus i wanted to know her more, know what would a girl like her think, whether certain actions i did was right or wrong, i really wanted to know and i know i can share any of my secrets with her, and she will keep it, like how i would for hers. Well, it is weird how we really got close, it was because of my ability again, well, hopefully, my 4D comes true tomorrow.

She is a friend i might not known for long, a friend whom i know i will be for life, a friend i will cherish when there are up and down, a friend who like my other buddies, like a pearl in the blue sea, like the stars that shines above, like a new borne baby that one would love. They are precious. Priceless. Brenda ( dedicated to you) thanks for being my friend. Stay cheerful, Be Happy, Friends Foever. ^__^
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2004-08-07T22:27:00.001+08:00

And my life wouldn't be better, if i didn't meet them

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2004-08-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

Well, They are the friends whom cheers one when they are down

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2004-08-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

Best friend anyone would have

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On That Special Day

2004-08-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

Well, i didn't really had time to write anything, been busy, really busy, but i want to dedicate this to my friends, especially to those who celebrated my birthday for me. I was kind of sad, because on this particular day, the memories were recalled.

Friends, are the most important thing in my life. When i thought i will be alone, they light up my life. Well, to me all of them are beautiful, every single one of them. With their heart like gold, it beats anything. Well, unlike a relationship, there are ups and down, friends are the one that stick by you when you are down. Well, My friends, i cherish you, you are the best, the best any would ever have.

And to a special buddy, You have always been there when i was down. You will be my "brother" in life and a buddy to fight and die for. Nic, if god would to bestow me another gift, i will tell him not too because i have you as a friend.

Thank You

2004-07-29T01:45:00.000+08:00

Miss Kinky, with her kinky moves

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2004-07-29T01:43:00.000+08:00

Frenching the fries, well have to say, it is a Good Ad

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2004-07-29T01:42:00.000+08:00

Staring Competition?

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2004-07-29T01:41:00.000+08:00

Lost in the game , but doesn't seem like so

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2004-07-29T01:40:00.000+08:00

What is with the weird look?

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2004-07-29T01:38:00.001+08:00

New friends.... real cool people

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2004-07-29T01:38:00.000+08:00

Mar lu.

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A Day Of Fun @ Sentosa.

2004-07-29T01:25:00.000+08:00

Today is a day of fun, will be heading down to sentosa, with the rest of the committee members to chill out. Real fun day. I have to say, i really enjoy myself, got a tan, played soccer, and mostly made a lot of knew friends. Well, it was a day of fun, and we didn't stop till late at night. I'm quite impressed with the spontanous reaction of our editorial team. Onz, means onz, i guess we are the most united group in the student council. Well, can't wait for the next batch, Cheong once more. hehehe.

True or dare. lolz Many secrets were told that day, including mine, some really sausy one... hmmm. lolz. Good to know you all, The student council.

2004-07-28T22:21:00.000+08:00

Using phone? lolz. Ano sa... Sorry hor, my hand did shake, so not that clear.

Posted by Hello

2004-07-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

Thank you for celebrating my birthday

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2004-07-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

Ting and Shan
Bestest Buddy ^__^

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A love to remember.

2004-07-24T02:08:00.001+08:00

Well, i miss my Blog, miss it badly. Well, i feel that this is a place where i can feel freely to write, say or do anything i like, freedom in a simple way. Just this week, i meet up with two buddies of mine. Well, they really gave me a suprise, a suprise i will never forget.

I have always been in a position where love is not on my side. Well, never felt that life was fair. Well, life is unfair, what am i complaining about. Lolz. But this day, i will always remember.

Thengli & Yishan has been friends with me for donkey years liao, our friendship has cross many boundaries and test, and our individual life, has cause us to grow to mature adults. I on that faithful night, recieve a present., a birthday present, a gift i never expected.

It was a key pouch. I was very touched. I never expect that a friend would be so snesitive and caring to observe what i wanted and got me that. It was so pleasant when Tingli told me "i actually, was looking for that levi's wristband you wanted, but apparently i can't find that anymore." This words touch and move my heart. Tears are not enough to discribe the feeling of this. It was like being love by someone, you least expected which you though was long gone when you lost the one whom you love.

I got a soft dog doll, for my ex on christmas. It was the first present i ever recieve from a female friend whom i really liked. And well it was my first gift from her too. But subsequently, i lost that love from her. Well, it may sound awful, but a card for my birthaday, your bf's birthday was not right. Well it is not the card which i mind really. But it was the fact that she bought the card on that very same day, and gave me. The worst part was that i was with her on that faithful day.Well everything is in the past now, it is a joke to even bring it up.

I thought i lost this love, but i found it from a friend. Well, the gift is so special, i will cherish it for the rest of my life, as much as i cherish them. And i'm so happy, having them not only as a friend but a buddy in this very life. Xie Xie Ni, Tingli & Yishan. You girls are magnificiant. ^_^

If i was a their bf, i will gladly give my all to them.

Sincerely

I thought I lost my ability.

2004-07-16T02:35:00.000+08:00

Well, I certainly didn't lost my ability. Lolz, Today my mom told me, "I didn't buy your no. It came out third price." And i told her, " Didn't i say it is coming out soon? trust me." Well, i told her 2 days before hand.
But the suprising thing i told her was, buy 2183, and i told her to buy combination bid. I know my ability can help, but i haven't master it yet. Then she said to me. "It just open too, Look i show you?" I was suprise by my ability, I thought, Xue really seek the devil to remove it, but i guess she didn't. Anyway, wait until i master it, readers will be treated, lolz. ^__^

2004-07-16T02:17:00.000+08:00

A New Future (photo was taken on board LST)

Posted by Hello

My Dream

2004-07-16T02:15:00.000+08:00

For every evil, there is a greater good. For every innocent, there is a proctector. For every legend, there is a hero. Well, i certainly have not been a hero in my story. I have always played a minor role in my life. It is time to make a change. I have been looking too much in my past, seeking the old me. Stupid me, i should have known better, but to create a new life, a new future, a new me.

All along in the past, i was place in the 2nd position. Well in school, in work, in love, in family. I was never a lead. But i know i can make the change now. I can decide clearly, and i have the will power to do so. If i put my mind and soul to my work, i can do it. If i want to i can.

I remember the old days where i had to act in school. Everyone said i was a born actor, but i choose to give up my position to a "tyrant". I'm not afraid, but i hate trouble. I think, to prevent this troubles. I think to prevent, this mistakes. I have not fall, until then, when i choose to forsake what i believe. But i never regret doing so.

Well, this is all in the past. I should learn from it and move to a better future. ^__^

Well, Another day

2004-07-13T20:52:00.000+08:00

Woh, i woke up this morning, never expecting that i would see her on line. Well for the first time, she kept to her promise. Well, hopefully my honesty has made her come to some senses. But i still wonder whether her misses in the past were real or just some nice words someone would say to a friend.

Well, thought this afternoon will be a boring day, like what i told my "xiao mei" but it was a good thing, because i did learn some new stuff at the end of the day.

This world is full of deception and fraud, wonder why my uncle is always at its disposal. Can someone be con so many times? It is nice that my dad, thought me how to engage a power attorney. Well, though i hope i would never need to engage one.

Life has never been stagnet for awhile. I wonder what happen to the old Justin, the ambitious person who would seek knowledge. Perhaps love has really got to him. I know now that i can't be like what i use to be. I'm afriad of being hurt, by the closest friends of mine. Betrayer is a word, i see too often, whether may it be love or even friendship, i've seen it too much. Maybe this world is just this way, we go round hurting each other.

Now, the only thing in my mind is to improve myself to be better, smarter, stronger, fitter. I must reduce my flaws. Overcome this fear in me and learn the way of a samurai. Lolz, it is hilarious that the meaning of a samurai is "to serve". Well i must build up my discipline once more, i know i can, but when?

2004-07-13T20:49:00.000+08:00

My xiao mei. It is my honour having you as my xiao mei

Posted by Hello

My "Xiao Mei"

2004-07-13T19:52:00.000+08:00

Beauty is something not only use to describe a person's appearance but also a character, an object, or something. Well Priscillia, my xiao mei is beautiful. She is beautiful. Well thus i decided to write this article on her.

All these while, i been seeking for friends, someone who understands me clearly but to my sadness, i only found a few. One whom later became my ex. Anyway, during this period of pain and darkness, a single actions of a friend whom i just met might hurt me alot. Well certainly, many of these new friends hurt me alot.

Well, thought one could be a good friend, hmmmm.. i and her(won't say name)got too close to fast, well to the extend of many misunderstanding, even to me, and our other friends. I don't know her feelings, but it seems pretty obvious, that someone would ask me to on my webcam before she sleeps, and miss me or even feel sad when she mistook me of not wanting to makan with her. Well, i knew that i will never step into anyone's relationship. But i can remember her hugging my arms, when we were on the dance floor.

Well, i certainly have no courage for love right now. And i decided to concentrate on my work, career and studies. Friends are important to me now, they were the one who stand by me when i was down. So i found this "xiao mei". She might not know me, or even understand me that well. Of course frankly, we just met and only work together for a while. But friendship is something i can't explain. But i know a friendship will last longer than any relationship. But, what makes her so special is she is .....true. Her heart is pure. And though she has alot of problems and alot of things on her mind, she is true to everyone. This is something i really love about her. I feel very comfortable talking to her. Hahaha, if you reading this, sorry, i keep bugging you. Hehehe.

All i wish i she has the best of everything right now. I hope one day, she will find happiness in her relationship. I can't say much, cos i don't know what exactly happen. But if in any chance her bf is reading this. I hope he really cherish her, like how i once did for my ex. Well, i live for 23 years liao. A person like her, seldom comes by. If she wasn't attach, i might even go chase her so please cherish her. She deserve way better than what she is right now.

Oh yah, forgot to say. Her smile, is one of the most magnificant thing you will ever see. Like an angel's Lallaby, it touches once heart. Well hopefully she would be smiling in this manner more often. Must really catch her smile, worth's a million, like some shooting stars you would wait all night to see. Hahaha, it is something you won't want to miss.

Anyway Prissy, stay beautiful, =)

My Life

2004-07-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

This is my story, my life, my journey. Well, I never really believe in writing a journal, but guys do change. Well, certainly for sure, I know, mine did.

Life has always been mysterious in its on ways. My love life has been in a mess, well maybe it’s just because I have gotten over things yet. Sometimes I do wonder whether things will change for the better. Things which have occurred to me like no normal guys would experience. Sometimes I ask myself, is this fated, or is this gift, a gift from god, or just something that the devil himself uses to misjudge me. Well certainly for sure, I hope I can use this ability of mine to help others. But it seems so tiring when one tries to change his fate, but fails eventually.

I learned that I can’t change fate, if life was built in such a way, then life shall continue in such a manner. I believe that everyone, must face a certain route of life, and only one with the heart of gold shall stand. Can I be that person? Well hopefully.